More case studies for the immigration department's marketing campaigns
Marketing Case Study number one. The permanent residency path for Heroin Dealers.
Phuong Ding Do is a heroin dealer. He's been in gaol six times for it, so maybe he's not even a very good heroin dealer. But being a bad heroin dealer hasn't hurt Phoung's case one bit! Phuong found a helpful tribunal paid for by a grateful Australian public keen for Phuong to stay. His brother Phuc Do told the tribunal that Australia had trained Phuong to be a heroin dealer and therefore Australia should be the country that benefits from that training. You can learn about pathways to residency for the aspiring heroin dealer here.
Case study two - Australian taxi drivers, police and pregnant women now available for imported bashers with anger management issues
Mr Bro likes his privacy, so we can't use his real name. He is a biff merchant who is a non-discriminatory basher committed to Australia's diversity agenda. His victims come from all classes, backgrounds and genders. Mr Bro is often drunk and was either drunk or hungover or really really angry when he last bashed a taxi driver, police and his pregnant lady partner. You'll find more about the drunk/hungover/really angry path to permanent residency for biff-artists here. We can't promise that your application will get the personal treatment from AAT deputy president Robin Handley - who ruled that the next person who Mr Bro bashes should tolerate the risk - but we can say that there are plenty more like Robin waiting to rule on your case.
Stop Press! Bonus Visa Category announced - "COMPLEMENTARY PROTECTION FOR ADULTERERS" - There's Nothing Like Australia!
Don't let the ungenerously restrictive provisions of the UN Convention on Refugees hold you back from trying-one-on in Australia. Our nation's a mecca for adulterers. Mr Shia is a taxi driver from Iraq. He was married to his cousin and it was OK for a while, but he got bored in the bedroom. Then, when out driving his cab in Iraq, a better looking chick hopped in and Mr Shia did too. Next thing, she's married to a soldier, the soldier didn't like his wife "knowing" Mr Shia so much, the soldier got angry, people shouted - Iraq wasn't big enough for the both of them so in steps Australia. Mr Shia can now ply his proclivities in the Great Southern Land protected by a passport, Visa and the envious glances of a world that's not so lucky as those fleeing opression to The Lucky Country!
You could flee here too. Interested? Our Tribunal members are ready to hear your case now. Don't let the law or the UN convention limit your imagination. Try us on, you'll be glad you did.