Limp-lettuce-leaf tee-totaller CDF driving members to drink

From the magnificent Ross Eastgate.

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Limp lettuce leaf enough to drive old Digger to drink

MICK Benson recalled the exact date and time Australians involved in the 1941, 241-day Siege of Tobruk were each issued two warm bottles of Foster’s Lager.

In a military career spanning four and a bit decades, including time as a UN military observer in the Middle East where he fought as a digger in the 2/24 Infantry Battalion, Mick, in his 93 years could never recall a more welcome beer.

World War I battlefields and museums are strewn with half-gallon ceramic crocks stamped “SRD” – Services Reserve Depot or as cynical Diggers expressed it, “seldom reaches destination”.

They once contained an extremely strong, black, tarry rum, 80 percent ABV, which made men’s eyes water when drunk neat.

It was not recommended suitable for sipping.

The standard issue was 70ml per man, twice per week for those “resting,” daily on the front line, or as directed by a senior officer before and after an attack.

Soldiers were not alone.

A prominent medico once observed young doctors in the 20th century survived harrowing workloads on benzedrine, nicotine, then sought relief in alcohol.

Conversely Great Aunt Dossie was a dour, humourless Scots Presbyterian teetotaller who believed strong drink was the work of Satan.

She could detect the crack of a crown seal at 100m and was tyrannical in her determination to expose those who enjoyed a libation, even at Christmas.

Grown men clandestinely gathered round the hessian covered watermelon in laundry tubs under an old Queenslander were terrified of her footfall or voice, demanding to know, “What’s happening down there?”

Many an ice-cold XXXX disappeared down the plug to avoid her abstemious censure.

The modern ADF is a hybrid of days of old and Aunt Dossy, where once forbidden practices are not only acceptable but almost compulsory, except alcohol consumption.

The dour, humourless CDF-for-life’s first act was to ban iconography, which once helped build and sustain unit identity, cohesion and morale.

Fort Zinderneuf has banned alcohol consumption on operations, and Diggers will be breath tested before entering or leaving the wire.

Rumours abound that as a distraction to his other problems the CDF-for-life will soon announce unit animal mascots were unacceptable and will be phased out.

Leading as he always does by example, he will announce Fort Zinderneuf will adopt an animal mineral free, vegetarian recyclable mascot.

Insiders understand it will be a limp lettuce leaf.

It’s enough to drive old Diggers to drink.


© Ross Eastgate MMXXIII

From Matt Walsh, the magnificent documentary 'What Is A Woman?'

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An insight into what a P.O.S. Dan Andrews really is.


3AW reports, 
A man’s car registration is in jeopardy, after his personalised number plate “DANOUT” was deemed “inappropriate” by VicRoads.
Is Andrews such a weasel that he cares about this?
If the public service in Victoria so perverted that this is now their role?
Is Andrews just a POS?
How is this number plate inappropriate?
Where is the spineless Liberal Opposition?