Magnificent material. Just world class material. The construction of the gag, the build-up, the timing - no, this gear has no peer.
Friday, 28 December 2012
I don't know about you, but this sort of practical joke, long time in the making, capturing a whole nation, the wait, wait, wait for the punchline. It needs a special crew to pull it off, and the NBN people along with Red Reg Grundies and the whole Labor team have done it again. Hats and red undies off. You guys are in a league of your own.
In this complex joke construct, $50 billion is employed to rip up a good series of networks and replace them a new network that's better in some ways, not so hot in others. Anyway, that's beside the point of the gag.
The crack-up was that all the way along, they said that this thing called Tele-Health was the big idea for this new $50 billion network. Red Reg Grundies said it, Kev said it, it was the mantra. That's why it was being built.
So here's the punch-line of the practical joke. Red Reg, you are wicked! He's employed this guy Mike Quigley on a few million a year. And he lines him up to have a press conference to say that tele-health, tele-medicine is still the big ticket item, the number one app for the $50 billion network.
Only the day before, Red Reg, Miss Gillard, Wayne and the other guys all got together and pulled out funding for all the telehealth rebates. So there's no funding for it!
Hilarious. Poor old Mike Quigley, wouldn't you have loved to have seen his face when he got the joke?National Broadband Network to help elderly stay in own homes, project boss says
- by: Phillip Hudson
- From:Herald Sun
- December 27, 201212:00AM
National Broadband Network (NBN) company chief executive Mike Quigley says the project will help the elderly. Picture: Renee Nowytarger Source: The Daily Telegraph
THE National Broadband Network will help older people stay in their own homes longer and their aged care will cost a fraction of what they would pay for a nursing home, the man in charge of building the project says.
NBN boss Mike Quigley also says households will receive better and faster broadband for what they already pay.
Mr Quigley hit back at critics who had derided the NBN's slow roll-out, saying the decade-long project was like "pushing the pig through the python" but it would hit big milestones in the next 12 months.
Mr Quigley said some of the biggest benefits of the NBN's high-speed broadband to homes would be in health and aged care. Patients will be able to see doctors on TV screens and have simple tests and consultations via computer.
He said a US study found home health monitoring cost $1600 a year, compared with $13,121 for a visiting nurse or $77,745 for a nursing home.
An Australian pilot scheme by aged care provider Feros Care found the daily cost of using broadband was $3.46-$7.14, compared with $967 for an acute hospital bed.
"Most old people don't want to leave their homes," Mr Quigley said. "This could let them stay for a fraction of the cost of a day in hospital."
The NBN has about 30,000 active customers. Mr Quigley said the aim was to have the network available to 286,000 homes by June.
"I want the public to know it's now real," he said. "All of the design work and the architecture work that's taken years, and the regulatory work and structural separation - all of that's now been done."
Mr Quigley said Australia would depend on the NBN with growing demand for video services requiring fast broadband. He predicted governments would use the network to deliver services such as social security, education and health.
He rejected claims of cost blow-outs, saying deals with providers meant more upfront costs but would save money over the life of the project.
Mr Quigley denied the company was wasting taxpayers' money, following criticism it was spending too much on staff and taxis.
"In a start-up, that normally happens," he said.
He said no NBN staff flew domestic business class, and trains and taxis were used over limousines.
*Editor's note. Oh to be in a position to say I use taxis over limousines whereever possible.