All Australia needs is a new Stuart Wagstaff to be the responsible narrator, "It's just a jump to the left...."
Trailer for the drama unfolding - Without a Press Secretary, no one can hear you scream...........

Your Majesty, it's a Mr Mathieson and his, ah, mates the Shep Boys. He wants to come in and show them the carpet, where, oh, nothing your Majesty.....

Patrick Lion in the News Limited press has some classic Tim quotes, including such hitherto unknown gems as:


the "Shep boys" camped out in the park next door to The Lodge ready to come in for card nights which he enjoyed during his three years there.

"Just waiting for the call to come in," he said.

"We keep it good, have a couple of beers and watch the footy."


On the occassion of the search for an Asian lady doctor with small fingers for the purpose of facilitating an ease of inspection:

the West Indian cricket team "love me" over the joke about getting a small Asian female doctor to examine their prostates before a Prime Minister's XI game this year.

"They reckoned that was pretty funny, and, you know, so do I actually," 

On the matter of his belief that the invitations to major sporting events, you know, hopefully, won't stop:

Mr Mathieson hosed down suggestions he had over indulged in the gravy train, saying "most of the time I say no".

"I don't think my PA even exists anymore so they might stop coming in," he said.

"I still have that little thing that goes around your neck that says VIP to the V8 Supercars.

"I am an aficionado of V8 Supercar Racing. I love coming to the footy and I love watching the Storm. So those three, hopefully, won't stop."

On the occassion of the presentation of the gift of a certain Mansfield Eagles Football Club Jersey and number one ticket for the club's games to  His Royal Highness Prince Charles, Prince of Wales by a Mr Tim Mathieson of "Shep":
"I've actually just found he's the number one ticket holder," he said. "It's got Prince Charles on the back of it. I just didn't end up giving it to him. I might keep that one for myself and see if they let me in with it."