Official Fairfax Radio Network statement of intent - "Just like the ABC but with ads"
Wednesday, 30 October 2013
This is the stupidest move by a publicly listed company you will see for a long, long time.
It's brought to you by the same team that delivered advertisers the lowest 2UE breakfast show ratings in 90 years.
I've seen bad ads, bad corporate strategies and bad presentations. I've seen companies insult their customers. I've seen deadshit managers ratshit their staff. I've seen competitors who've run out of ideas give up and slavishly follow the market leader - in the hope purchasers won't realise they're getting a second-rate copy.
"2UE, like a Rolex for $5 on the beach at Bali."
It's rare to see real life examples of corporate strategy this bad. Profit-driven enterprises seldom decide to become the public service - only more irritating.
The Fairfax Radio Network ad is aimed at advertisers, not listeners, but it is hard to find a stakeholder group in the Fairfax Radio universe not insulted.
The message for Fairfax Radio listeners is "Our radio stations sound like the ABC with ads. If you'd like to hear the ABC with ads, listen to us. If you'd like to hear the ABC, well, listen to the ABC like we do. We think they're pretty good and we'd like to be like them. That's why we put them in this ad. How good are we? As good as the ABC with ads".
It's possible that someone found a market research company to tell Fairfax Radio there's a gap in the market for listeners screaming out for 11 minutes of ABC radio then 4 minutes of ads, repeated four times every hour. It's possible, like it's possible it was someone else with the HSU credit card.
For Fairfax Radio Network staff the message from management is, "You don't know what to do. We don't know what to do either. We think you should do what the ABC does because they seem to know what to do. But it doesn't matter who's right now, because we've put this ad out. So sound like the freakin' ABC because that's now policy."
Advertisers are being told, "We do the same stuff as the ABC, except in each 15 minutes we play 4 minutes of ads. So if you'd really like to advertise on the ad-free ABC, well you can't because that's what makes the ABC unique. And no one has ever taken the ABC on directly like we have. Well almost directly, we'll still have your ads."
The same corporate strategy at the National Australia Bank would see NAB ads shot in a hot and stuffy RTA office "Drop into a branch near you - it's like walking into the Roads and Traffic Authority, with extra things to irritate you".
Buy a copy of the Australian Financial Review with the collector's item "Fairfax Radio Network ad that's actually for the ABC". It'll be like a Franklin Mint 2UE good ole' days Alan Jones and John Laws together dinner plate - it's sure to be a valuable collectable. It's in a tiny little collectable category "busted-backside media companies taken out by their own stupidity - not the internet".
Mark Scott, get that agency in pronto.
At least we now know why they sacked their only talented radio announcer JASON MORRISON! Too conservative for the commercial arm of the abc
Posted by: Felix | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 04:50 PM
I wonder if there is a correlation between people who put "No Junk Mail" signs on their letterbox at home and those who listen to the ABC because there are no ads?
I'm not informed, intelligent or influential enough to know, but I would love to see Newscorp point it out to Fairfax shareholders.
Posted by: underminder | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 04:53 PM
I just helped place my aged mother-in-law into high level care.
She is perfectly OK but while she knows what she says she is unable to remember that she said it.
Fairfax sounds like a good case for high level care as they do not know what they are doing but can remember that they did it!
Posted by: muso | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 04:56 PM
They're are finally fessing up that Fairfax is talking with a leftist bias. I'm sure their advertisers will be pleased.
Posted by: seeker of truth | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 04:56 PM
But Michael, that isn't the worst of it.
Have you done their listener survey? I listen to radio online - I don't listen to it anywhere else. I live in Alice Springs & I have to listen to Sydney radio to find out what is going on.
Although we have a telly station that the taxpayer spent a Fing fortune on, with upgrade after upgrade + we have the ABC & neither give us a news bulletin. Even our damned paper is printed the day before in Darwin - it is pathetic.
Anyway - if you haven't done the survey do it. The question about which radio personality would you like to see on 2UE - I just wonder how many Michael Smith's they got!!!
Posted by: Dianne | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 04:57 PM
2UE are polarising and hardly Australian!
2UE are very patronising and it shows in their silly ad. 2UE are not literal thinkers and all of this "think laterally" mumbo jumbo talk...sounds like that 2UE imbecile, red ragger Peter Fitzsimons has dreamed up this absolute crap.
2UE would be well advised to become a little patriotic for a big change and support Australians, if they want to survive in the real world?
Posted by: Thomas T. | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 05:02 PM
- WARNING ADVERTISERS -
Don't sign yet!
Bidding for the ABC commences shortly
Written and spoken by Malcolm Turnbull for the Liberal National Parties
Posted by: Arch | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 05:04 PM
You're really hitting your stride with this blog - I love the tone in this post. Keep it up, it's hilarious.
Posted by: Andore Jr. | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 05:06 PM
Looks like someone is on our side, now we can expect to see 2UE and the ABC go down together....all for one and one for all. How good is that, just like the ALP and the AWU.
Posted by: Dennis | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 05:10 PM
When I can't access 2GB on line 2UE is my default but it is dead boring. When I leave Umina I may well forget about radio and TV too. It is all getting a bit like background noise. Edward James
Posted by: Edward James | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 05:13 PM
Yes how is it that the highly productive right wing Australians who are making most all of the $$$money for our country are somehow supporting, feeding and carrying all of these damned sabotaging, immoral hypocrite left wingers and their damned useless and costly ideologies, greedily sucking up our taxes for their own bloody personal benefit!
I find this totally absurd, that without the hard earned money from our hard working demonized businesses, the damned sabotaging-treasonous lefties would be on the very bones of their fat lazy arses!
So why in hell are these leftie spongers, so easily accessing and soaking up our money?
Lefties should be cut-off from our tax revenue honey pot, which is absolutely not meant for these rorting, scheming left wing Labor/Green hypocrite "scumbags" who evidently are seriously and irreparably damaging our much loved Australia!
Posted by: Adam Nguyen | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 05:14 PM
The way the ABC has an intentional bias to the Left which makes their broadcasts" Suss", I recon 2ue would have more success with the Left target audience by reversing the trend .They should have 44 minutes of advertising and the remainder 16 minutes of other " stuff "for each hour of broadcasting. The 16 minutes is about the limit of the attention span for the listeners.
As a suggestion ,and it's only a suggestion, they could limit the length of on air time to one hour a day. That way they will extend the time frame before they go bankrupt
Posted by: Stan | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 05:15 PM
Pity watching the demise of the Sydney Morning Herald as it turns into a sexist, misandryist rag, leaning far left, bereft of talent, uninteresting and untrustworthy.... Keep up the good work you Fairfax Journo's or whatever you call yourselves now days....
Posted by: Nigel K. Williams | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 05:17 PM
Aww 'fess up Michael this is just a promotional item for a showing of 'Cяazy People'…right❓❗️
Just more proof that the people in the big seats with the big bucks don't necessarily have any more talent or skill than the average domestic companion animal, or any of the charm and loyalty for that matter. If there's a war I propose that they all be appointed to the general staff…of the enemy.
Remember "SONY. Because Caucasians are just too damn tall"
Posted by: Old Rooster | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 05:24 PM
The ALPBC24 channel broadcasts 60 in 60 minutes of ALP propaganda 24/7 so where would they squeeze in the revenue spots if that were there model?
Posted by: Old Rooster | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 05:28 PM
2UE is obviously not on the side of Australians, nor is the taxpayers' funded A.B.C. our national/international broadcaster and evidently both are harming our interests.
The Liberal government obviously needs to closely review the deceptive A.B.C. situation, otherwise Liberal may very well lost the next election!
The A.B.C. is grossly abusing the trusted power given to them by the angry taxpayers and if Liberal do not take action now, many voters will lose trust and confidence in Liberal and not vote for Liberal again. Clearly the tainted A.B.C must GO NOW!
Everyone that I know want the corrupted white-anting A.B.C. gone ASAP!
Posted by: Jackie | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 05:30 PM
Fairfax is allowed to have a lefty bias. They are a private company accountable to their shareholder.
The fact they brag about being identical to their ABC, confirms even the lefties believe there is a leftie bias of the tax payer funded impartial national broadcaster.
Posted by: Extreme Centrist | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 05:31 PM
the abc is worthless shut it down
Posted by: Jackie | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 05:32 PM
it used to be a read worthy credible newspaper now its not even good for toilet paper
Posted by: Jackie | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 05:34 PM
Very simple actually, whilst I believe in free markets - I will not purchase any product from those that advertise on Marxist 2UE or other Fairfax outlets.
Posted by: David | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 05:47 PM
It's a pity 2GB couldn't steal (and find a spot for) George and Paul. Without them, 2UE wouldn't even make a ripple as it sank into obscurity.
Posted by: Cliff | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 05:54 PM
Agree. Only time I tune in to 2UE is for the George and Paul weekend shows. Unfortunately they do not toe the lefty line so they will probably soon be replaced by Bob Carr delivering recitations from "Das Kapital"
Posted by: Menai Pete | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 06:18 PM
Very funny rant Michael!
Posted by: Jane Smith | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 06:27 PM
ABC radio... It is like Fairfax radio But WITHOUT the ads. That should kill Fairfax radio off for good.
Posted by: Robert TG | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 06:27 PM
Now I understand why I can buy a share in Fairfax for less than a Fairfax rag. I buy Sorbent instead of the SMH these days. I find that I suffer much less chaffing. Fairfax should have made an announcement to the ASX before running that ad. Shareholders must be mortified.
Posted by: Doubtful John | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 07:03 PM
That certainly sounds like the same jug-headed 'management philosophy' that applies at Fauxfacts' 3AW.
If the desperately annoying adverts they air don't have you reaching for the "Off" switch, the bigoted half-hourly pro-A.L.P. propaganda and anti-Liberal hate sessions which pass for "news bulletins" there, certainly will.
No wonder the Fauxfacts share price is still down in the 50 cent range, while the competently-run News Limited share price is over $18.00 per share.
Posted by: Up The Workers! | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 07:15 PM
Fauxfacts journalists would rather be 'red' than 'read'!
Posted by: Up The Workers! | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 07:17 PM
Someone must have believed the advertising. Fairfax closed on the ASX higher than the long term trend for the first time since the end of 2007. No doubt the board will be trumpeting "we've turned the corner". The staff must be buying shares to make sure of a job.
Posted by: johninoxley | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 07:22 PM
Still sniggering. For listeners the take away is " why should i listen to you when i can get the same thing (you said it fidn't you) on the ABC without annoying adds". For advertisers the message us "all our listeners have migrated to the ABC because they get the original without adds". Who the hell wants go advertise eith that logic? Harvard will run classes as part of their degrees on the stupidity of this positioning.......i suspect thd carpet at 2UE has 2 grooves about a metre apart worn in the corrodors around the management offices......from knuckles.
Posted by: brad | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 07:24 PM
Just like Fairfax.
But without those annoying capitalist ads.
Posted by: Extreme Centrist | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 07:29 PM
Fairfax shareholders would be livid with this garbage.
Our radio stations sound like the ABC with ads
Our newspapers are the written word of the ABC with ads
Our staff are often mistaken for ABC staff with ads
Our staff act and say the same things as ABC staff with ads
Our management are exactly like the ABC management but rely on stupid ads
Sorry our management want more money from our shareholders
Overall Fairfax are doing extremely well if you're an investor and listen to the ABC, because you'd believe anything.
Fairfax and the ABC are dinosaurs of the new world, they live in the past and love handouts, whether taxpayers or shareholders.
May they both rest in peace in the next couple of years.
Posted by: Dave | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 07:33 PM
Yes! I love George & Paul - they are simply fab.
Posted by: Dianne | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 07:39 PM
I think everyone here has got the wrong impression of 2UE.
They offer 15 minutes of high quality advertising EVERY hour of every day, that contains some great links to suppliers, retailers and manufacturers of Australia.
I often go to the podcasts on 2UE, skip all absolute garbage, and skim through the ads. Now that is something the ABC can never offer.
The ABC has 60 minutes every hour of total junk, bias, lies etc - which is exactly 33.33% more than Fairfax.
So, from above, Fairfax tells lies, spreads BS, gives leftist views 25% less then the ABC.
Forget all the stuff above, I just listen to 2GB online and visit Michael Smiths blog only.
Posted by: Dave | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 07:44 PM
Bloody amazing. Fairfax aligning with big time losers.
Share price will fall by at least 50%.
Get rid of current board and management could be a good investment.
Posted by: Tinaroo John | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 08:53 PM
They now have gone totally mad!
Never heard of anything so crazy.
3AW has news every half hour nowadays, we do not hear much about the Government, but we hear all the pronouncements from all the labor-faithful in the Victorian and Federal sphere.
To-day we even heard one of my worst night-mares, in Dreyfuss.
You know, just as if we have any interest of what they have to say nowadays, I understood they lost the election?
For me if I look at the TV for the 7 PM News, I always wonder, what is really going on, as we now never know, whether or not they are reporting everything, very dicey! Thought somebody would step in, but no, they must all agree with it......
Posted by: Liz of Vic | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 08:58 PM
these are not red they are green. communists are patriots and will defend their borders to the death. totally unlike these labor scumbags. even the reds do not like them. red president putin thinks they are all queer. and the chinese laugh at them.
Posted by: Jackie | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 09:02 PM
Hold the presses, here's a headline for them:
Hmmm, who was that group of people who said it couldn't be done?
Posted by: underminder | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 09:04 PM
Like the ABC but with commercials! Talk about death by suicide. Are we sure this isn't an 'insurance job'?
Posted by: Colleen | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 09:16 PM
Sure to make your butt turn red if you use the SMH in place of sorbent..lol! ;)
Posted by: Michelle Two | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 09:28 PM
this is not a revelation 'fessing up' it is common knowledge every damned idiot knows that they are 'leftist bias' just like the damned teachers federation
Posted by: Abdullah Abdullah | Wednesday, 30 October 2013 at 11:36 PM
I agree Jason is fantastic and as we know is a good bloke calls a spade a spade and supported Michael when most did not at the beginning. Michael and Jason are real Australians with pride and passion, 2UE is now like a two dollar shop full of not so good stuff!
Posted by: Craig Bennett | Thursday, 31 October 2013 at 01:50 AM
lololol...Michael...just how many names has this guy??
Posted by: Ulla | Thursday, 31 October 2013 at 08:38 AM
It's amazing how the big power-brokers for a radio network have absolutely no knowledge of radio. This sounds like a bunch of jeans and collared shirt types sitting around having a "brainstorming session" yet none of them actually listen to talk radio.
Posted by: doofus | Thursday, 31 October 2013 at 09:38 AM
What is your point? Are you gay?
Posted by: TRUTH SEEKER | Thursday, 31 October 2013 at 10:42 AM
At least SORBENT does NOT have Advertising!!!!!
Posted by: Jayrray | Thursday, 31 October 2013 at 11:25 AM
Fairfax Radio Network and ABC Radio are digfferent because one has ads and the other does not.
Posted by: JASON ANDREW TOPPIN & MELISSA ANN SEADON | Sunday, 17 November 2013 at 04:37 PM
3AW will never be like the ABC because they or should Lissy & i say we have Neil Mitchell and ABC does not. The ABC in Melbourne on FM and FM shopule be firced to play 3AW and Magic programs if they are found out as to being biased.
Posted by: JASON ANDREW TOPPIN & MELISSA ANN SEADON | Tuesday, 31 December 2013 at 05:40 PM
CRixkwt on 3AW has bought us many new listeners
Posted by: JASON ANDREW TOPPIN & MELISSA ANN SEADON | Monday, 17 February 2014 at 04:11 PM