PM: I’m getting on with rebuilding the economy through new industries like misogyny and the Clinton Foundation. You won’t believe the jobs I’ve got in the pipeline - thanks Hillary.
JOURNALIST Yes but PM that wasn’t the question, have you renounced your Welsh or UK citizenship?
PM: Beth ydych chi ymlaen am Mr Coorey. What about Mr Abbott’s sleaze and smear and relentless negativity.
JOURNALIST: Your citizenship, have you checked?
PM: I know that there's been a lot of focus on what I should have reported to electoral authorities. Well you can't report things you do not know. I did not know the Registrar at my birth, I did not see him attend to the paperwork, I do not know the names in his Register. This is a common misreporting and let me clean it up right here and right now.
I have been defamed on a number of occasions with forms of words saying that I did something wrong. Those defamations have been apologised for and retracted or the journalist has disappeared or whatever.
I have done nothing wrong. Any claim to the contrary about me is a defamatory claim and I'd look to this Press Gallery to try and show some leadership in standards and accuracy here.
What I did was I worked the numbers. I got here. I am not Doris Day. I am the Prime Minister and I want to see everyone go home safe. I have friends in the CFMEU. Any questions?
JOURNALIST: Two Greens have resigned, if you still hold Welsh citizenship will you resign?
PM: Two Greens broke the golden rule. Look at the millions that’s cost the nation and will potentially cost them as individuals. Their actions, their behaviour has consequences. So will I admit to stuffing up like they did, when I know you won’t investigate me anyway? No way. Pussies.
JOURNALIST: You’ve never produced a renunciation certificate?
PM: I dealt with this extensively at the marathon press conference in August and before I answer your question let me just go to some of the issues here that I've dealt with on the public record.
There has been an emerging kind of consensus amongst the media, perhaps egged on by quoting the Constitution, that I need to give a full and frank account of these matters.
Let me just remind, I first answered these matters when I was still allowed to practice law in 1995.
I then dealt with these matters on the public record again when Martin Ferguson chose life and I was preselected.
I dealt with these matters on the public record in 2006 when I was featured in a beautifully lit Australian Story on women in sensible shoes.
I dealt with these matters on the public record in 2007 after the shopping around of a dirt file - ask Mr Abbott if he still has the negatives.
I dealt with these matters on the public record in a marathon press conference in August, one of the longest prime ministerial press conferences ever held. I only wish I was still being paid by the word. It's an old habit.
I have dealt with these matters at press conferences in Melbourne, in Brisbane. And so let me come to your question.
I refer you to my answers in the marathon press conference where I explained to you what to write and what to report.
I said very specifically, I did not think that reports to the contrary had helped with the understanding of this matter, that my understanding on the instructions provided by consular officials was that this a routine transaction, nothing to see here, nothing extraordinary - read the transcript and get it right.
By the way, Mr McTernan and I have more staff checking up on you than there are journalists. Just saying.
JOURNALIST: One of the allegations made by discredited right wing nut jobs is that you’ve never produced a certificate of renunciation?
PM: I've said publicly on more than one occasion I did nothing wrong, and I did nothing wrong in this. I have made thousands and thousands and thousands of documents during a - I'll answer your question - I’ve made thousands and thousands of documents disappear over my career and there is nothing extraordinary about this one.
So it's going to come down to a man in a blue tie’s word against me. Let me remind you who he is. He is a man who has publicly said he was involved in fraud - OK you say the only fraud he’s fessed up to is the stuff I got him to do but what’s your point?
You want documents, I’ve created heaps on him.
He admits to using the services of prostitutes in Asia - yes, ASIA, the worst kind.
People say he’s a complete imbecile, an idiot, a stooge, a sexist pig, a liar and I know all of that because Bruce and I sued them for saying it. We smashed them and then - God I miss him. Sorry, I digress.
So it’s going to come down to the word of him or me, the Prime Minister who has done nothing wrong.
I am good friends with The Clintons. Have a quick glance at their list of missing presumed unable to testify.
Cael diwrnod braf.