Graham Ashton - you missed a few people in your apologies over the Grub Guerin and his offensive posts.
To save you the bother of watching, Commissioner Ashton said Assistant Commissioner Brett Guerin resigned from Victoria Police over the online posting scandal "as reported in the media over the past few days".
Isn't it reassuring to hear where the police commissioner gets his data from?
The Guerin story "as reported in the media over the past few days" isn't anywhere near complete.
Top priority on the Graham Ashton action list goes to responding to "what's reported in the media".
Facts, source data and even basic enquiries take second place.
Because of what's reported in the media, Ashton said Victoria Police would today have talks with a number of community groups who were affected by Guerin's online posts.
He didn't specify if the affected groups included the owners of 'rather large schlongs' or Paul Mullett Dates.
In the absence of a specified group or individual who had suffered damage from Guerin, Ashton went the well travelled press conference "we must do better" route. Ashton said he'd personally be getting in touch - today - with "the broader multicultural community", the human rights advisory committee, the Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission and other usual suspects when it comes to the taking of offence.
Ashton looked down the camera to reassure us. He wants to work with "the affected communities" to jointly work out what the Victoria Police can do to improve its culture "in relation to this sort of thing".
I hope Victoria Police doesn't have a big problem with "this sort of thing" - that being ageing Assistant Commissioners with a penchant for Dean Martin disguises and covert commentary online.
There is one group, however that Commissioner Ashton left out of his reach-out list.
It's the group that's most directly affected by Guerin and "this sort of thing".
Guerin targetted them, quite disparagingly and offensively.
Us. The people who populate this website.
It was Guerin's posts on our website that got him onto the front pages. The media reports talk about Guerin's offensive words as if they were just stand alone statements. What they neglected to say - no doubt because of the general political conservatism here - is that each of Guerin's posts was an attack on a comment already posted by a named person. One of us.
Guerin's "rather large schlong", Paul Mullett's date and sundry other Guerin delicacies were written into insulting comments aimed directly to named readers of our website.
He called people names like "Einstein" and said of others "deep thinking is beyond them". He attacked people and their opinions directly and aggressively, all the while hiding away in his online disguise.
These are real people who didn't know at the time they were being trolled by the Assistant Commissioner for Double Standards Brett Guerin in his Vernon Demerest persona.
I'm amazed that the media takes no interest in the fact that Guerin was posting highly politicised and smart-arsed comments on a story about a real complaint to his own ethical standards department about his boss, Graham Ashton!
No one from Victoria Police, the IBAC or the Victorian Government has contacted me about Guerin's posts.
Ashton falls over himself to apologise to people who might have taken collateral offence because of what they've seen reported about Guerin's comments.
But Ashton couldn't give a flying one about the people Guerin actually wrote to by name here - nor me, the site owner for that matter.
Guerin posted disparaging comments about his own police force's Operation Tendement investigation into the AWU Scandal. He told one of our readers the investigation was "a politically-driven stunt", which didn't "actually impact on real people". The people he was writing to were real - but that's apparently eluded him. They were concerned enough about his ethical standards department to write a comment about it on our website. And little did they know the boss of that department was trolling them.
Our media has plenty of people happy to repeat what others have written - but when it's as simple as an email or phone call to ask me for comment about stuff that's on my website it just beggars belief that no one made that effort. There's been no contact from any media asking for facts about the extent of Guerin's posts.
And so they miss this. Vernon Demerest was one of many guises used by Guerin here.
And the Guerin guises go way back - at least two years Before Demerest.
Vernon Demerest (aka Brett Guerin, aka the dumbest cop on the force, aka the Assistant Commissioner for Double Standards) used a Victoria Police computer, Victoria Police broadband connection and unbelievably a Victoria Police IP address for his first comment on our site.
It was made at 10.37AM on Wednesday, 31 August 2016 from an IP address which resolves to these details:
His first two comments on our site were done at work from his work computer. He used police time and resources to attack two readers who'd commented on our story about Christine Nixon.
One veteran reader Wayne Shaft said that Christine Nixon looked 'robust' in a photo we'd published, adding the "I had to eat" Nixon trademark catch-phrase. That triggered Guerin:
Had I been asked, I'd have been able to tell authorities about Assistant Commissioner Guerin's other posts from his work computer during work time.
Amongst other things, he reckons that "Lisa Zanatta has been used as a scapegoat" in the misuse of superannuation fund member details by the CFMEU - and it was "Definately a cover up from the CEO".
That wouldn't go down well with Dan Andrews, Brett his Chief of Staff, Graham Ashton, John Setka or the others who hold positions of influence over Victoria Police.
Guerin's got advice for crooks that might be useful for Brett/Vernon/Victor Mature too:
Domican is a waabbe gangster and loved to play the heavy to the extent of lying. He was an associate of drug runner Barry McCann. He should have stayed a Garbo.
Should have stayed a Garbo?
Maybe you should have stayed a policeman and not become a political activist and agitator hiding behind false identities Brett.
Thanks for the press conference today Commissioner Ashton, but we're still waiting on our apology.
Victoria Police leadership is living down to our expectations.
We never did get that update on Operation Tendement we asked for either.
I think we'll give up on you doing anything on the AWU/Gillard front.
Just like we've given up on you in general.
Given your bosses in the Andrews/CFMEU Government and their attitudes, we'll just go ahead without you.
And Vernon Demerest, one of our readers has a final message for you mate!