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Therapeutic Albanese bringing Rudd/Gillard/Swan magic back to petrol prices

Screen Shot 2021-12-01 at 7.49.22 am
Screen Shot 2021-12-01 at 7.49.22 am

Here are two attempts Labor prepared earlier.

Exhibit One - Rudd/Gillard/Albanese's petrol commissioner

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JOE Dimasi is the petrol commissioner - but whatever you do, don't call him that.

The man appointed to the $330,000-a-year job for a five-year term by the Rudd-Gillard government with a press release trumpeting "appointment of a new petrol commissioner" wants to get a few things straight.

First, he's not in charge of petrol prices. Second, he can't stop them going up. Third, petrol prices don't go up at Easter. And finally, he would prefer you did not call him the petrol commissioner.

"I'm not the petrol commissioner," Mr Dimasi told The Sunday Telegraph. "That's just a nickname. I'm a commissioner for the ACCC."

Mr Dimasi, a respected economist and regulator, said the use of the term petrol commissioner had left motorists confused about his job and the powers he had.

"People seem to think there is a separate office and all that nonsense," he said.

"But we don't control prices. People often say what are you going to do if prices go up ?

"Well, prices are not regulated in Australia. We don't regulate prices."

Exhibit Two - a timeless classic - Applied Swanenomics

And here's a bonus track for the true believers!